The Fort Knox Candy Breach

This little Weilk family chronicle takes place about a year ago. To set the scene properly you should probably know that Max and Jake share a room when they're not destroying it with Legos and action figures. Don't get me wrong, we are a very clean family and I make sure the rug-rats properly organize it before they go to bed every night.

Anyway, this particular day I just so happened to walk in and notice that Jake is quickly putting something in his dresser drawer with an obvious flustered expression on his face that screams, “I'm doing something I shouldn't. Don't look, mom!”

“Jake, What are you doing?” -Me

Jake is trying desperately to swallow something in his mouth while trying to be as secretive as possible but what ever it is is too big. Somehow gets it down, I'm honestly extremely relieved that he didn't choke doing this. Thank God!

“Nothing momma” -Jake

“Spit it out Jake, what is that? I mean it!” -Me

“It wasn't anything really, I promise” -Jake. I notice Max is also concealing something.

“Give it here Max” -Me

Max hands over a bag of fun dip and says, “It's just candy” while exposing his green tongue.

“Where did you get it from?” I ask while Jake pulls out the bottom entire dresser drawer. Boom! Hit the mother load! There was a bottomless stash of Halloween, Christmas, Easter, and birthday candy! Usually we throw out the rest of the kids candy after a certain point after Halloween or whatever occasion. This is mainly because Max and Jake make sure to get about 2 pillow cases of candy every Halloween. They had been saving up their candy for years. I'm guessing because I haven't seen Oreo O's in years.

All these years I was wondering why my kids would have a cavity just about every other time they went to the dentist and making sure they brush their teeth three times a day. And here they are with teeth rot city cleverly concealed right here in my own house. I toss my head into my hands and shake side to side trying to conceal a grin of my own. #MyKidsAreAwesome

Remember as far as anyone knows, we’re a nice normal family.
- Homer Simpson